Half Blind
by ImmuneACC
Summary: Deadpaw grows up in a disfunctional family and holds the burden of being born half blind and unwanted. She meets her fairy tale prince that promises to save her, but what if he's a spy sent to destroy her clan? *Rewritten*
1. Chapter 1- It's All White Noise

**(Ok I decided to scrap my original story because when I reread it, I died a little . I appreciate any criticism, the harsher the criticism, the better! Don't be afraid to completely roast my story)**

 **Chapter 1- It's all white noise**

Bluefrost tried recalling what a tom had said to her the other night. He had confessed his love but no matter how hard Bluefrost struggled to understand the words he spoke, she couldn't. She tried to recall what he looked like or the color of his eyes but nothing came to mind.

When she was kit, she'd often be compared to her mother, but when Bluefrost looked up at her mother, she couldn't recognize her. The kit saw a blurry shadow instead, if she tried hard enough she could see the color of its fur, but it was like trying to describe the color one sees when closing their eyes. Bluefrost did not think this was abnormal until her father stood next to the blur and talked to it as if it was alive. Her mother talked to Bluefrost a lot when she was just Blue _kit_ , but Bluefrost did not recognize her mother, she couldn't distinguish the shadow's emotions, nor could she understand the static that was supposedly its voice.

 _"Why don't you talk back to me?" Her mother cried to the kit._

 _Bluekit concentrated, trying to decipher the static. The shadow was looking at her and the more silence Bluekit gave, the louder the static._

 _"Answer me!" The mother was now screaming._

 _The kit turned to the medicine cat that was standing behind her. She recognized the cat fine, it was a young medicine cat named Fawnheart. Bluekit could remember her voice and her face._

 _"Perhaps she is just shy," Fawnheart suggested to the screaming shadow._

 _"No! She talks to her father! I hear them! I hear them!" The mother grabbed ahold of the kit by her shoulders and started shaking her, "There's something wrong with her!"_

 _"There's nothing wrong with her!" Fawnheart rushed to Bluekit's side and broke the shadow's grasp on her._

 _Bluekit could still feel the presence of the giant paws long after the shadow let go. Her mother had unsheathed her claws when holding the kit. Tiny droplets of blood formed on Bluekit's shoulders. **The shadow hurt me**. _

_"Bluekit, please say something," Fawnheart begged as she held her mother back._

 _ **Say something?** Bluekit opened her mouth to obey and the shadow immediately silenced. "It hurts, Fawnheart."_

 _She felt blood slowly dripping down her back. Fawnheart called for help and while she held the shadow in place, the medicine cat apprentice ran for cobwebs. **It hurts**._

 _"Do you see now?" Her mother asked in frustration, "She talked to you, she didn't even acknowledge that I was here! She never meets my gaze!"_

 _"You have to relax, she will be more hesitant to speak if you raise your voice," Fawnheart said, "Let me talk to her alone. Come back tomorrow."_

 _"I want her fixed now!"_

 _Fawnheart took a deep breath and told her to do the same. In a calm voice the medicine cat suggested that Bluekit stay with her and her apprentice for a few nights._

 _The shadow looked at Bluekit and they fell into a long silence. Her mother was unsure but acquiesced eventually. Bluekit watched as her mother rose up to leave. The kit could almost make out a silhouette of what seemed to be her mother's legs padding away. She squinted, trying to see other parts of the shadow but her eyes strained._

 _The medicine cat apprentice ran clumsily to aid Bluekit, dropping almost all the cobwebs. He pressed down on Bluekit's left shoulder while Fawnheart tended her right._

 _"Bluekit, has your mother hurt you like this before?" Fawnheart asked._

 _Bluekit shook her head. She hadn't known the dark blur was her mother until her father had shared a trout with the shadow last sunset. The kit pondered over it the entire day and could not believe it. There were times when the shadow would meander around the clan but whenever it got close to her, Bluekit would get scared and try her best to ignore the static. At first her mother concluded the kit was shy but eventually she could not disregard her own kin avoiding her._

 _"Can you speak to me?" The apprentice asked._

 _Bluekit nodded. She examined the brown-spotted apprentice who was tending her shoulder, he seemed to be a few moon older. On the front he appeared to be a fit, young tom but when he turned around, Bluekit saw his back was completely stripped of fur. What was left was shriveled pink skin._

 _"You dropped the cobwebs, Mousepaw," Fawnheart said._

 _"Sorry," He replied rather insincerely, "We wouldn't be up this late if Bluekit just talked to her mother."_

 _"Bluekit, why don't you talk to her?" Fawnheart asked._

 _"I can't see her."_

 _"You can't see her?"_

 _"She's a shadow, I can't see her."_

 _Mousepaw snorted. "Stop lying."_

 _"I'm not lying," Bluekit defended, "Also I wasn't talking to you."_

 _"Both of you stop," Fawnheart addressed both of them but eyed Mousepaw especially, "Bluekit, what do you mean by a shadow?"_

 _Bluekit thought for a moment, **how can I describe it?** If she concentrated on the shadow, she could make out shapes of legs and ears but it hurt her eyes. If she listened to the static long enough she could hear emotion but never words. _

_Fawnheart's look of sympathy faded into confusion. She looked to Mousepaw for his opinion but he just shook his head. Bluekit yawned, she did not want to speak of her mother anymore. All the shadow did was hurt her. Mousepaw replaced the wet cobwebs and led Bluekit to her temporary nest. Bluekit was uncomfortable in the unfamiliar den, it was much colder and emptier. She thought about returning to the nursery but her mother would be there. A shiver went down her spine, perhaps it was best to stay here. In her peripheral vision, she saw Mousepaw taking Fawnheart outside. Bluekit followed them, she needed to ask if she could stay longer._

 _"That kit is lying!" Mousepaw hissed._

 _Bluekit paused._

 _"Mousepaw keep your voice down," Fawnheart whispered._

 _"She's doing it for attention, kits are immature like that, Fawnheart," Mousepaw muttered._

 _ **Why is he so stubborn?** Bluekit clenched her teeth. This was none of Mousepaw's business, this is none of anyone's business. It would be better if everyone just leaved her alone._

 _"I know she's faking it," Fawnheart said._

 _Bluekit's heart sank. **She doesn't believe me either?**_

 _"Just force her to talk so she doesn't have to stay with us!" Mousepaw said._

 _"This problem isn't going to go away that easily. She needs to heal slowly."_

 _"You say that as if she's injured."_

 _"In a way, she is," Fawnheart said._

Bluefrost hated when Fawnheart would sit her down in the cold den and ask her how she was feeling, how had her day been and if she was eating enough. The medicine cat acted as if Bluefrost was a sick elder who needed constant watch. Ever since the incident with her mother as a kit, Bluefrost forced herself to talk to the shadow. The static responses pierced her small ears but she listened for any resemblance of words. Nothing. She couldn't understand. As a kit she faked her way through the conversation, she smiled at her mother whenever she talked. She would always nod and throw in an occasional "of course". But it did not work.

 _The shadow grabbed her again and shook her. Bluekit's ears burned as the static screams grew louder and louder. This time Fawnheart was not there to save her._

 _"Stop! Stop!" The kit cried._

 _Her mother dropped her, the static stopped. Blood gushed from her shoulders down to her legs. Bluekit opened her eyes but her vision grew dark. All she saw was a glimpse of the shadow running away._

That was the last time she ever saw her mother. Bluefrost shook her head, several moons have past since then but she never could forget. Fawnheart still asked about the shadow but Bluefrost would convince her that everything she had said as a kit was a lie. A lie for attention. The medicine cat believed that and thanked Bluefrost for the honesty.

Bluefrost stopped seeing shadows ever since her mother deserted RiverClan. At one point she asked herself if any of it really happened. She shook her head, _**I don't care anymore. I don't**._ She convinced herself that the only thing that matters now is if her kits were going to be born healthy.

* * *

"Bite onto this," Fawnheart offered Bluefrost a stick to soften the pains of labor.

Bluefrost slapped the stick out of Fawnheart's grasp. "Get away! Get away, I need room! I can't breathe!"

Mousepelt tembled, Fawnheart had warned him if he was going to follow in her footsteps then he must prepare himself for any situation. This was the second pregnancy he'd witnessed, his first almost caused him to faint and he couldn't even bare to look until it was over.

"She needs you, Mousepelt," Fawnheart said, "She needs you to help, you have to be strong."

He took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm here by your side, Bluefrost!"

Blackstorm stood at the entrance of the medicine den, not moving a single muscle. Before sundown, he would become a father. He should be proud, he was responsible for a seedling in the next generation. He could nurture his kits better than his father ever did and watch them grow into warriors. His kits would have their kits and he could watch over them as well. Blackstorm should be excited, but he wasn't.

"Blackstorm!" Bluefrost called, "I need you!"

Fawnheart turned toward the entrance. "Blackstorm?"

There was no one there. Bluefrost cursed his name, if she had to give birth by herself, then she would. If she had to raise her kits by herself, then she would. She did not need a coward to slow her down.

"Just one more, Bluefrost!"

A minimal amount of blood was shed when the first newborn arrived. Mousepelt forced himself to hold the kitten, it was no bigger than his head. It was a dark tom with a light grey underside, it's paws were curled and it squirmed around in Mousepelt's grasp.

"He's healthy, he's a handsome little thing," Mousepelt murmured with smile.

The last kit was a grey she-cat with a blue hue. Its ears were small and she had a stubby, pink nose that twitched. Bluefrost sat up slowly and Mousepelt placed the dark tom at her side. She smiled at the newborn, she was a mother.

"This she-cat looks just like you," Fawnheart said fondly as she placed the she-cat next to her mother. Bluefrost gasped and froze at the second kit.

"What?" Mousepelt asked, his heart began to pound. Did he miss something?

Bluefrost began to shake. She opened her mouth but choked on her attempt to cry out for help. Fawnheart inspected the newborn closer but found nothing.

"What's wrong?" Fawnheart asked, "Bluefrost, what's wrong?"

"She's a shadow!" Bluefrost spat.


	2. Chapter 2- Take My Burden

**Chapter 2- Take My Burden**

"You said the shadows weren't real," Fawnheart said, "You said you lied about it."

"They're real! They've always been real!" Bluefrost screamed, "They're haunting me! They won't leave me alone!"

"Mousepelt, take the kittens to the nursery," Fawnheart ordered.

He nodded, as gently as he could, Mousepelt carried the newborns between his jaws. Fawnheart had the urge to follow him but she knew she had to trust Mousepelt, he wasn't the clumsy apprentice she once knew.

"You must fix it," Bluefrost said to Fawnheart, "Fix it so I won't hear that static anymore!"

"You need rest, you seem to be delirious," Fawnheart said, "Have you eaten?"

Bluefrost did not seem to hear the medicine cat. She began muttering to herself about shadows and screams. Fawnheart begged the mother to lay down but Bluefrost was lost in her own world.

"Is this about your mother?" Fawnheart asked.

"My mother..." Bluefrost mumbled, "Everything was so much better when she disappeared. Yes... she disappeared. It has to disappear too, I won't stand the static anymore, I won't."

"What are you saying?"

Fawnheart was growing impatient. The medicine cat was relieved when Bluekit admitted the shadows were a lie for attention and now it was all coming back. But this time it couldn't be an immature joke.

When Bluekit's mother abandoned RiverClan, Ryestar had sent several search patrols but none could even find a trace of her. It's like she had vanished but Bluekit swore she saw her mother before she left. The kit told Fawnheart her mother had ran toward the cliff but that had to be a lie. The cliff was a dead end, the only way she could've left is if she jumped the cliff and swam in the harsh river that led to the waterfall. But there's no possible way anyone could survive that, unless her mother had taken her own life?

"We're going to separate you from your kits for awhile," Fawnheart said.

"No!" Bluefrost refused, "Give me my son, he's the only thing I have!"

"He is not a shadow?"

Bluefrost shook her head. "No he is definitely my kin, he looks exactly like my father. I need him."

"And the she-cat?" Fawnheart asked.

The mother hesitated. Could she give the she-cat to Blackstorm? _**No, no. Wait, yes perhaps. No... what am I thinking how absurd... yes**_..

Fawnheart watched Bluefrost mumble to herself. The medicine cat had knew her ever since she was a small, blue kit. For her to dwindle into such a state like this was depressing.

"Eat this," The medicine cat gave the mother the last of her chamomile flowers. She needed Bluefrost to sleep and regain her sanity. If Bluefrost refused to see her kit, the newborn would die.

Bluefrost swallowed the flowers without protest. She wanted to heal her strange visions as much as Fawnheart. If herbs could not save her, she would resort to other methods. She curled into a ball and let the chamomile flowers soothe her into sleep.

Mousepelt returned with the RiverClan leader, Ryestar. The dark yellow tom pushed past both medicine cats, demanding to see the kits. Fawnheart instructed him not to disturb Bluefrost nor the newborns but Ryestar did not comply.

"Where are they?" Ryestar asked Bluefrost, nudging her awake.

"The kits are temporarily in the nursery," Fawnheart answered him, "Please let Bluefrost rest."

"They need her milk, correct?" Ryestar asked.

"Yes."

"Then why is she sleeping? Bluefrost, stand!" Ryestar demanded.

"Ryestar don't push her," Fawnheart said, standing in between them.

"I'm not letting you kill them like you did with my kits," Ryestar growled, "Move."

Fawnheart froze. When she was just an apprentice, Ryestar's mate had given birth to only one kit. She still remembered how the pink newborn had seemed to smile at her. It was abnormally small but her mentor concluded it was healthy. When Ryestar held the kit he noticed it immediately stopped breathing. He started yelling. Her mate cried what was wrong. They knew this was the only pregnancy the mother could attempt for her muscles had ripped opened during birth. Fawnheart could still hear their pained screams moons after the tragedy.

"Don't blame her for that!" Mousepelt defended.

Ryestar refused to listen. "Fawnheart, I am your leader. Step away," He commanded.

Fawnheart conceded to her superior's order with her head hanging down with guilt. She moved and watched Ryestar force Bluefrost from her slumber. Slowly, Bluefrost stood and met the leader's eyes.

"Move to the nursery and feed your kits," Ryestar said.

Bluefrost seemed lost as he spoke. The leader repeated himself but she did not listen.

"Bluefrost?" Fawnheart called.

Ryestar leaned in until their noses touched and yelled to Bluefrost's face. She did not acknowledge his existence, instead she mumbled about Blackstorm.

"What did you do to her?" Ryestar asked Fawnheart.

"Nothing!" Fawnheart shrank under his gaze.

Mousepelt rushed to his mentor's side, he had never seen her startled. "Ryestar, she didn't do anything!"

Bluefrost yawned and finally spoke. "Why did you wake me?"

All heads turned to the now conscious mother. Ryestar repeated himself and this time Bluefrost complied. Mousepelt suggested to rest longer but was ignored. She stood and padded to the nursery.

Fawnheart turned to follow her, she had no trust that Bluefrost would accept her kit. Ryestar stopped the medicine cat, he would not let her near the newborns.

"I do not want to see you leave this den," Ryestar said.

The leader asked Mousepelt to assist in the nursery instead and both left Fawnheart stationed alone.

* * *

"A mistake," Bluefrost muttered.

The mother watched the shadow's chest expand as it inhaled the warm air of the nursery. Bluefrost wished for the kit's breath to stop. She lifted her paw and placed it over the newborn's muzzle. **_Don't breathe. Don't breathe!_**

"Did Fawnheart touch the kits?" Ryestar asked Mousepelt as they entered the nursery.

"Only the she-cat," Mousepelt said.

Bluefrost retracted her paw as the toms peered over her. The two newborns laid beside her, taking in their mother's warmth. Ryestar examined the she-cat.

"You must be relieved," Ryestar said, "They're both healthy, what have you named them?"

"Wolfkit and Deadkit."

"Deadkit?"

"Don't make me keep it, I'm begging you, Ryestar."

"What are you spouting about?" Mousepelt asked, "This birth was perfect!"

"It's a shadow! Fawnheart must've done something wrong, she gave me a shadow!"

Ryestar's fur bristled. "Fawnheart gave you _what?_ "

"It's wrong, it's wrong, don't make me keep it!" Bluefrost pleaded.

Ryestar looked to Mousepelt for an answer but he could not understand either.

* * *

Fawnheart rearranged her herbs for greencough to distract her from the guilt. She blamed herself for the death of Ryestar's only kit. It was alive when she took ahold of it, moving only slightly in her grasp. The kit had both eyes closed and smiled when Fawnheart had touched her. She felt uneasy, her grip could fail at any moment and drop the newborn. Everyone was staring at her. The kit's entire life depended on whether if she was of use as a medicine cat apprentice during the birth. She noticed it stopped breathing long before Ryestar did but did not tell her mentor. She watched as Ryestar's smile turn into fear as he shouted at both the medicine cat and her apprentice.

"Fawnheart."

Ryestar's voice interrupted her thoughts. The medicine cat dropped the leaves to ask how was he. He dismissed the question, his icy tone scared Fawnheart.

"Bluefrost said you did something to her she-cat," He growled, "What did you do?"

"What?" Her voice raised in terror.

"What did you feed Bluefrost? She's mumbling to herself about shadows and static while begging for more of the herbs you gave her!" Ryestar said.

"It was chamomile flowers! It's to relax her, it's harmless!"

"Show me! Show me and eat these flowers yourself if they're so harmless!"

"I don't have any more," She said.

"How convenient."

"Believe me, I didn't do anything to Bluefrost or her kits!" Fawnheart insisted.

"She named it _Deadkit._ " He shook his head.

Silence fell upon them. "D-Deadkit?"

"It's time you retire to the elder's den, Fawnheart. Mousepelt will take over your duties immediately," Ryestar said as he turned.

"Ryestar believe me, please!" Fawnheart called after him.

She wanted to run and stop him. She wanted to save his old kit. She wanted to save Bluefrost. But she couldn't do any of it.

* * *

Snow gently settled on the grounds of RiverClan as night approached. Mousepelt returned to the medicine cat den with a mouthful of whatever herbs he could save before the leaf-bare. He saw Fawnheart at the entrance, waiting for him.

"You shouldn't stand outside in the cold, come in the den," Mousepelt said.

"I'm afraid this isn't my den anymore," Fawnheart replied.

The brown tom's ears perked up. "W-What?"

"Ryestar requested that I become an elder."

"No! I can't do this without you!" He dropped the herbs in shock and the wind carried it away. Fawnheart recalled whenever Mousepelt would gather herbs, it would scatter all over the den without him noticing. But that was her old clumsy apprentice, the tom who stood before her was a grown medicine cat.

"When you helped Bluefrost give birth, you had a determined look in your eye. You weren't going to let yourself be petrified anymore," Fawnheart said, "You're ready, Mousepelt."

They closed their eyes and touched noses. Mousepelt did not want to open his eyes, he knew when he did, he'd no longer have Fawnheart by his side.

"Fawnheart?" A voice called.

Mousepelt looked over his shoulder to see Bluefrost standing in the thin coat of snow. She was holding her she-cat.

"Bluefrost! It's freezing, don't carry her out here!" Fawnheart said.

The shivering mother dropped the kit in the snow. "Please, take my burden." She turn and ran.

"Bluefrost!" Fawnheart exclaimed.

"What is she thinking?" Mousepelt rushed to pick up the kitten. He licked the snow off and checked if she was still alive, "She's ok."

"Get her inside," She said.

Mousepelt hurried into the den and warmed the shaking newborn. The kitten looked exactly like Bluefrost.

"It's such a shame for a beautiful she-cat to be named Deadkit," Fawnheart murmured.

"What are we going to do? She needs milk."

RiverClan hadn't had a mother give birth in moons. With leaf-bare approaching, there wouldn't be another one any time soon.

"Whitehail reported a mother giving birth, we could ask her to save Deadkit," Fawnheart said.

"Whitehail? The ShadowClan medicine cat?" Mousepelt asked, "No! You can't travel there, they'll hurt you before you even cross the border!"

"Deadkit can't survive the night without milk," Fawnheart said, "Whitehail owes me for last moon's shortage of marigold so he can't turn me down."

"Fawnheart, you can't risk your life for..." Mousepelt tried finding the right words, "Someone else's burden."

Fawnheart looked at the squirming newborn. **_She doesn't deserve to be named Deadkit, she doesn't deserve to be motherless_**. "I'm going to ShadowClan and saving her."


	3. Chapter 3- A Meal You'd Die For

**Chapter 3- A Meal You'd Die For**

Night blinded Fawnheart as she slipped into the woods. Deadkit hung under her, shaking. The kit cried for her mother but she had none.

The elder began to run, ignoring the frost creeping up her fur. The kit continued to cry until it stopped moving completely. **_No! Deadkit!_**

Wind swept Fawnheart from her stance. Her vision went white and all the heat from her body escaped. Fawnheart released the kit and her own will to fight.

* * *

The soft sound of kits playing woke Deadkit who was next to Fawnheart.

"Who is she?" Shadestar asked.

"Fawnheart, the RiverClan medicine cat," Whitehall answered.

The two ShadowClan toms approached Deadkit. She hid behind Fawnheart in fear.

"Why did she come here in the middle of a storm?" Shadestar asked.

"It's not like I can ask her now."

Whitehail was right, he couldn't ask her why for Fawnheart was dead. If she did not possess such dark fur, perhaps they would've never found her in the snow.

"Before Fawnheart died, she told me the kit was named Deadkit, then she collasped. We should feed the kit before making any decision about Fawnheart," Whitehall lowered his head to level Deadkit's, "Come here, little kit."

Strikestar held Whitehail back. "We are not feeding the kit, Whitehail."

The medicine cat's ears perked. "Strikestar, have mercy, it is not the kit's fault for being born in another clan."

"As long as a cat has foreign blood, they will not be nurtured in ShadowClan," Strikestar said firmly.

Whitehail did not argue but gave Deadkit a sympathetic look. If he had not broken his leg, Whitehail would've wanted kits of his own. For a heathly kitten to die from the lack of a mother was a tradegy.

"What do we do with it then?" Whitehail turned to his leader for an answer.

"Eat it," Stikestar said, "I'll be in my den, Whitehail."

The red leader left Whitehail stunned. The medicine cat had never killed a single prey in his life, a kitten was out of the question. Although disobeying Strikestar was also out of the question.

Whitehail peered down at the kit. She had beautiful rain-colored fur that matched one eye and the other eye was green with an amber glow. It would be unfortunate for her to be a meal.

The kitten cried next to Fawnheart's motionless body. Her sore cries made up Whitehail's mind. He would save her no matter the cost.

* * *

"Shadestar," Whitehail called.

"What is it?" The red leader was grooming his newborn son.

Whitehail inhaled deeply. He convinced himself what he was about to say was right. That his ancestors would approve, but a pain in his heart told him he was lying to himself. "Shadestar, the reason why Fawnheart came to me is because she's the mother of the kit, and I'm the father."

Shadestar's eyes turned into a piercing glare. "You swear on your life this is true?"

"I swear of my life," Whitehail's voice was but a whisper.

The leader circled him. "You broke the code," Shadestar growled. Whitehail's heart began to pain his chest. "You're disgusting, Whitehail." Shadestar sat in front of him and demanded, "Eat the kit."

"You can't be serious!" Whitehail exclaimed.

Shadestar was completely serious. Any blood that is not pure ShadowClan, would not be allowed in.

"She's my kin, Shadestar! Let her be my apprentice, please," He asked.

The leader lunged onto the medicine cat. "And what if the kitten betrays us for RiverClan? And she attacks you just like this." Shadestar's long claws teased Whitehail's neck.

"She cannot attack anyone, she's half-blind," Whitehail explained nervously.

He retracted his claws. Shadestar's tail swung back and forth as he thought. "So be it," He decided, "But if the kit does not show medicine cat potential, then the plan follows, you eat her."

* * *

A reader questioned the likelihood of a cat eating a kit today. Btw cats sometimes eat their deformed young (look it up) I've heard this in other species as well. That's a fun fact about cats! Or I guess a not-so-fun fact


	4. Chapter 4- Return To Sender

**Chapter 4- Return To Sender**

Deadpaw tumbled over the last of the marigold. She closed her eyes in embarrassment. She had just ruined the paste she was preparing for the elders.

"Whitehail, you said she was trained," Shadestar growled.

"Please give her another chance," Whitehail begged, "I know she can do it."

The red leader shook his head. "She can't even see where she's heading."

"Deadpaw is just nervous," Whitehail insisted.

"No, this was a mistake," Shadestar said, "Her presence is just wasting fresh-kill. You know what to do, Whitehail."

Shadestar was reluctant to hear Whitehail's pleads. He escaped the den without another word. The medicine cat looked back at Deadpaw. Marigold leaves stuck to her gray fur. She was just as clumsily as when she started.

"I'm sorry father," Deadpaw apologized, "I tried this time, I did."

She expected him to comfort her, but he didn't. There was pain in his eyes, something Deadpaw had never seen in her father before. She nudged him, waiting for a response, but Whitehail was lost in his thoughts.

Deadpaw plucked the last of the leaves from her fur. She placed them before Whitehail neatly, hoping she could cheer him up. Nothing.

"Father, I didn't mean to make you sad," Deadpaw said.

"We need to talk, Deadpaw," Whitehail gestured to the back of the den, away from any nearby cats, "There's something I never told you about your mother."

"My mother?" The thought never came across her mind.

"Deadpaw, I believe your mother is Bluefrost, she is a she-cat of RiverClan," Whitehail explained.

"What are you saying father?" She grew confused.

"I'm saying..." He wished he rehearsed what he was about to explain, "I'm not your father. I believe Blackstorm is your father, Bluefrost is your mother, you are... RiverClan kin."

Deadpaw shook her head furiously. "Is this because I failed in front of Shadestar? Father I didn't mean it!"

"It's not about that, listen. When you were a kit, another medicine cat gave you to us. Shadestar didn't want you to return to RiverClan because we had to stunt their clan growth and you would only add more cats. So I kept you, and raised you as mine own under one condition, that you would be my medicine cat apprentice," Whitehail finished.

The apprentice stood frozen. Her eyes couldn't meet Whitehail's. All that came out of her mouth was, "You're not my father?"

"I'm sorry, Deadpaw," Whitehail said. Deadpaw crawled to Whitehail for comfort but he stepped away from her. "You cannot stay here anymore."

"What do you mean?"

"You belong in RiverClan, with your real family."

Deadpaw sniffed. "No! No!" She began to panic, her voice shook with fear. "You can't leave me there!"

"It'll be ok."

"Please hold me," She begged.

He didn't.

"Please," She said.

He stepped away.

Shadestar informed Whitehail long ago he must not fall in love with someone he could not keep. The medicine cat swore he could train the kit into an apprentice by himself but after several month he knew no effort in the world could make her anything near an apprentice. The leader said to distance himself from the kit and it would be easier to abandon it, and this time, Whitehail listened.

"I spoke to Ryestar in RiverClan," Whitehail said, "He is more than happy to take you back."

"I don't want to go, I'll try harder to be a better medicine cat this time."

Deadpaw tugged on Whitehail's fur but he yanked her away. "Don't be a burden."

With that, she stopped.

* * *

Rain poured down the gloomy skies. Whitehail's would usually cover Deadpaw with his own body to shelter her from the rain, but this time he didn't. The two were waiting for Ryestar's escorts along the RiverClan border in silence.

Deadpaw dreaded this day, she thought of running away but the thought of never seeing Whitehail's again scared her. If she were to become a RiverClan cat, then she could at least see Whitehail at gatherings, even one glimpse would be enough.

"They're here, stand tall, Deadpaw," Whitehail ordered.

A brown and a red tom approached them swiftly. They peered around suspiciously before speaking.

"Hello Ryestar, hello Mousepelt," Whitehail greeted politely.

Mousepelt dipped his head in respect to him. Ryestar examined Deadpaw, his glowing eyes met Deadpaw's. A warmth of remembrance swam over him, it was no doubt Bluefrost's kit.

"Return now, Whitehail, the rain will be heavier along your journey back," Ryestar informed.

"Yes, please take care of Deadpaw," Whitehail took one last look at her. He had raised her for six weeks on another mother's milk. He doubted the kit's chance of survival and yet she grown so big. For all he knew, this could be the last time he could ever see her.

"Bye father," Deadpaw said.

"Goodbye," Whitehail murmured.

Whitehail watched as the RiverClan cats took Deadpaw away. She did not once break her gaze from him.

* * *

Deadpaw shivered in the rain. Mousepelt recalled when he first saw her, he could not forget the day for it was the worst day of his life. Fawnheart, his mentor, had risked her health to save a burden. He didnt sleep that night, he stayed up to wait for his mentor, she never returned.

"I'm going to be your mentor, Deadpaw," Ryestar said, "Under my guidance you will catch up to the other apprentices."

Mousepelt stopped in her muddy tracks. "You can't be serious. She's half-blind."

"I don't see a problem with her ears or her nose, RiverClan needs all their warriors."

"Ryestar! We are at the break of war with ShadowClan, you can't possibly think Deadpaw will ever be able to fight them," Mousepelt exclaimed, "I didn't think you'd be this mouse-brained!"

Ryestar's ears lowered in irritation. "That is no way to speak to your leader. You are a medicine cat."

"I shouldn't be the medicine cat, Fawnheart should," Mousepelt growled, "But you chose a burden over Fawnheart's life."

"It was Fawnheart's flea-brained decision to kill herself," Ryestar retorted.

Mousepelt lunged onto Ryestar. The leader swiftly countered him and pinned Mousepelt to the ground. Ryestar spread his large paw across his neck menacingly.

"Fawnheart is my leader, not you," Mousepelt spat, struggled to breathe.

Mousepelt gasped for air once Ryestar released him. Ryestar nipped Deadpaw from the ground and muttered, "This clan has too many useless cats."


	5. Chapter 5- The Real Father

**Chapter 5- The Real Father**

All heads turned when Deadpaw entered the apprentice den. They reeked of RiverClan musk and were curious of the newcomer. Deadpaw felt self-conscious, she was half-blind and never had any warrior training. She was nothing like these apprentices.

"Gather around, this is Deadpaw," Ryestar introduced, "She will be training with you, do pass on what you've learned to her. Especially you, Wolfpaw."

A dark gray tom scowled. "Why me?"

"Because, Wolfpaw, this is your sister," Ryestar explained.

Wolfpaw's eyes widened. He turned to scrutinize Deadpaw, _**this RiverClan cat is kin**? _He thought.

"You can show her fish for the first time," Ryestar said.

Wolfpaw nodded obediently. He gestured Deadpaw to follow with his tail. The two apprentices padded to the fresh-kill pile at the edge of the clan. He picked out a short red fish and threw it to Deadpaw.

The smell made Deadpaw reluctant. She had tasted a lizard out of curiousity and it made her sick. Under the judging eyes of her brother, she nibbled the fresh-kill. It tasted like the lake, salty and cold. She forced herself to swallow but her throat would not accept it.

"Just eat it," Wolfpaw demanded, "Don't ShadowClan cats have rats as prey?"

Her stomach turned, her chest felt heavy. She knew this feeling well, her body was going to vomit. Deadpaw turned away from Wolfpaw to protect him from it.

"What in StarClan's name is wrong with you!" Wolfpaw exclaimed angrily.

"I'm sorry," She murmured.

Wolfpaw walked back and forth sighing. "You should go back to ShadowClan."

Deadpaw's ears lowered in embarrassment. "I can't, Shadestar doesn't want me."

"We don't want you either!" Wolfpaw snapped.

She silenced. Deadpaw wanted to return to see Whitehail and never taste fish again. But she couldn't, she would only be a burden to Whitehail and Shadestar. Deadpaw was excited for a brother but it seemed he didn't feel the same.

A sleek, black tom approached Wolfpaw. The gray apprentice's eyes lit up with excitement.

"Greetings father!" Wolfpaw said.

The tom did not respond, he was gazing at Deadpaw with a blank stare. "Who is this?"

Wolfpaw frowned. "Oh, that's Deadpaw, she is my-"

"You are my daughter?" The tom asked.

Deadpaw could not think of any words. The warrior who stood before her must be Blackstorm, her father according to Whitehail.

"Fawnheart did say you had one blue eye and one green eye," Blackstorm said.

Wolfpaw flicked his tail annoyed. "Father can we go fishing?"

"Yes, Deadpaw, come fish with me," Blackstorm said, never taking his attention off of her.

"I meant fish with me!" Wolfpaw said.

"Go change the elder's moss, Wolfpaw," Blackstorm ordered as he guided Deadpaw to the entrance.

Deadpaw watched her brother growl at her. Fishing was the last thing on her mind, the thought of swimming terrified her.

Blackstorm was nothing like Whitehail, her father was quiet and his eyes showed no emotion. There was no telling what he was thinking.

"I-I never swam before." Deadpaw forced herself to speak.

"Do not fear, water is our kin," Blackstorm reassured.

Blackstorm led her to the edge of the lake. The waters were especially rough this day. She shivered at the thought of tasting fish again, _**what if I vomit in front of father**? _Deadpaw bent down to look into the lake, there was no bottom. Her heart clenched, she did not belong in water.

"I can't do this, bring me back!" Deadpaw squealed.

"You cannot be a RiverClan cat if you cannot swim," Blackstorm said.

"Please I can't!" Deadpaw begged.

"You're not leaving until you swim." He stood up to block the path to camp.

"Father please."

He did not give mercy to Deadpaw. His fixed green eyes showed he was completely devoted to keeping his daughter at the lake. Deadpaw nervously padded into the water until her whole body submerged. The moment her vision blurred she retreated to the top.

"Go farther, you can't catch fish at the shore," Blackstorm said.

Deadpaw dove back in. She attempted to swim but her flailing legs could not go against the current. Seaweed tickled her paws as she touched the lake's bottom. A small trout swam near her and she quickly caught it. Her fangs sank into its raw flesh but this time she did not hate the taste.

She pushed herself to the surface of the waters but seaweed took ahold of her hind legs. Deadpaw's chest burned for air. The tip of her muzzle reached the top of the lake and she screamed before plunging back into water. "Help! Help!"

There was no one at the shore; she was all alone. She released the trout and bit the seaweed off her legs. Deadpaw floated onto the surface, gasping for air. "Blackstorm?" She called.

Birds circled over Deadpaw with intention to hunt. She screamed, she thought large birds were only native to ShadowClan. Deadpaw rushed to shore but the current pushed her deeper in.

One of the birds plunged into the waters and took the apprentice by the leg. Deadpaw clawed the bird's hind and it released her with a shriek. Another took Deadpaw by the neck and flew past the lake.

"Help!" Deadpaw felt a talon sinking into her neck.

The bird swoop low into the ShadowClan forest. Deadpaw's blood was depleting through her skin. A tom sprang from grass to the bird. He bit it's wings until the bones detached. The bird shrieked helplessly until it stopped moving.

Deadpaw laid on the ShadowClan border with a large gash in her neck. Her gray fur was stained with dripping blood. _**Is this it**_?

"Are you ok?" The red tom asked panicking.

"Med-medicine cat," Deadpaw managed to say.

"Whitehail went to the moonpool!" He informed.

"Webs, I need webs." Deadpaw had to heal it herself, her life depended on it.

The tom retrieved a mouthful of cobwebs. Together they pushed onto the bare flesh until both their paws were drenched in blood. Her neck stopped pulsing after the blood was soaked away. She let out a sigh of relief, if the bird had cut a muscle she would be in StarClan.

"Thank you," Deadpaw said to the red tom, "Who are you?"

"Briarpaw," He answered.

"You saved my life, Briarclaw," Deadpaw said, "I am-"

"-I know who you are," He said, "We were den mates."

"We were?"

He flicked his tail annoyed. "You forgot about me already? I could not forget about you."

Deadpaw tore the last stained cobweb from her neck. The gash was visible through her thin fur.

"How's RiverClan?" Briarpaw asked.

"Fine..."

"That doesn't sound fine."

She looked at her paws. "I wish I could go back."

"What's stopping you? Shadestar was furious that Whitehail sent to RiverClan, so come back."

"No Shadestar..." Deadpaw swallowed painfully. "He wanted me dead."

Briarpaw's face contorted into shock and confusion. "No, my father wouldn't."

"Your father?" Deadpaw asked, "You look nothing like him."

"His face is jagged since he gets into so many battles," Briarclaw joked, "He's always been rough with apprentices but... want you dead? There's no way."

"He's probably a lot nicer to you."

Briarpaw snorted. "Please, he enjoys bullying me."

"Really? Your father too?"

"He feeds me crowfood purposely so he can see if I can tell the difference! He's cruel. What about yours?"

"My father... ordered me to swim in the lake and he left when I almost drowned..." Deadpaw said.

Briarpaw retracted in shock. "N-No!"

"I don't know what to do."

A short silenced fell upon them. Then Briarpaw placed his paw on hers and looked her in the eye. With a serious tone he said, "If anyone tries to hurt you in RiverClan, you have to come to us, we'll protect you."

Deadpaw stood shocked. The tom who had saved her life had just promised to rescue her again. She smiled, there was no way Briarpaw could help her, she was all alone. But his worry was the only kindness she had received for a long time.


	6. Chapter 6- First Day's Punishment

(If you have trouble remembering the leaders, R=RiverClan=Ryestar. S=ShadowClan=Shadestar)

 **Chapter 6- First Day's Punishment**

Deadpaw had been called into leader's den the following night. Mousepelt, the medicine cat, and Ryestar were waiting impatiently for the apprentice's arrival, she was late.

"Where have you been?" Ryestar's nose scrunched up as he tasted a foriegn scent, "Have you been in ShadowClan?

The gray apprentice's eyes focused on her paws. She had prepared an explanation but suddenly felt timid under her leader's judgement.

"Look at me when I speak to you," Ryestar ordered, his fur prickled with frustration, "Why in the name of StarClan were you in ShadowClan?"

"Bl-Blackstorm took me fishing and he left while I was in the lake. A bird grabbed me and it took me over the border," Deadpaw explained.

"Do not lie to me, Deadpaw," Ryestar growled.

"I'm not! I'm telling the truth!"

"Blackstorm was on dawn patrol, he could not have taken you to the lake," Ryestar said.

"We went before dawn!"

"The kit's just like her mother," Mousepelt scowled, "Just tell us what really happened."

"I have a mark on my neck where the bird hurt me!" Deadpaw bent her head to reveal pink flesh.

Mousepelt brushed past her fur to examined the cut. He concluded by the shape it was definitely made from an eagle talon. Ryestar was still reluctant to believe her story, he could not imagine Blackstorm toying with the life of his kit.

"What really happened was you visited Whitehail in ShadowClan and an eagle native to that clan swooped you away but you escaped," Ryestar inferred.

"No it's not like that at all!" Deadpaw insisted.

"That would explain the strong ShadowClan odor," Mousepelt said. "Deadpaw you mustn't cross the border," Ryestar said, "You clearly do not understand that ShadowClan is the enemy, they will manipulate you and kill you."

Deadpaw ignored the order, she was irritated neither tom trusted her. "That's not true at all! I spoke to one of them and he was nice! He saved me from the bird!"

Mousepelt and Ryestar exchanged bewildered and confused looks at each other until the leader resumed his tirade. "Don't be mouse-brained. Did you ever think that he was earning your trust to later get information from you?"

Deadpaw hesitated, she had never worried about Briarpaw's genuineness before. In fact he had tried to convince her of abandoning RiverClan for ShadowClan. **_Was he really using me? No it can't be!_**

"You have lost the privilege of leaving the camp, from now on you will be under watch everyday until your warrior ceremony," Ryestar said, "You are never speaking to another ShadowClan cat ever again."

The yellow leader demanded she temporarily sleep in the medicine cat den. The apprentices watched Deadpaw exchange nests before slumber. Their curious eyes made her red with embarrassment, a few rumors spread amongst the apprentices that she had betrayed RiverClan and isolating her was the punishment.

"Are you moving your nest because you're returning to ShadowClan?" Wolfpaw asked gleefully.

She ignored her brother, she was never going back. She wasn't even allowed to ever speak with Whitehail. It was all her fault, why couldn't she have remained in camp?

The nest was placed in the coldest spot of the medicine cat den for the heat was occupied by the sick. Mousepelt was furious that he was ordered to share more of his space.

"You are not to touch any of my herbs, do not disturb the sick elders nor move from your nest until I do," The medicine cat told her.

"This place is too cold!" She complained with a shiver, "This is unfair!"

His ear flicked with annoyance. "You're really ungrateful. Your very existence has ruined my life and you dare whine? Can you be anymore of a burden?"

Deadpaw covered her head in her curled body to shut out the world. Her first day in RiverClan was the worst day of her life. No one trusted her and she couldn't trust anyone either. Despite Ryestar's distrust for ShadowClan cats, Deadpaw knew Whitehail and Briarpaw would never hurt her. But RiverClan cats would, even her father.


	7. Chapter 7- The Real Mother

**Chapter 7- The Real Mother**

Bluefrost awoke to the soft padding of paw steps. Her poor eyesight blurred whoever was sneaking out of the den but she knew who it was without looking.

"Blackstorm, where are you going?" Bluefrost followed her dark mate out of earshot.

"I'm taking a stroll for fresh air, go back to sleep," He responded.

She ignored the order and blocked his path. "You're visiting that ShadowClan she-cat aren't you?"

"Go back to sleep," He demanded.

"Blackstorm, she's using you! She's a spy! She doesn't love you!" Bluefrost insisted.

Blackstorm's calm countenance disappeared. He lunged onto her and bared his fangs. "Get out of my way!" She struggled underneath his weight but every move she made put her muscles into risk. Her body was never the same because of her mother.

He released her when she stopped resisting his grasp. Blackstorm gave her a warning glare before running out of sight. Bluefrost was in no shape to chase her mate who she had suspected from the very beginning that he was cheating on her with a ShadowClan she-cat. All she could do was watch him leave her every night for another lover.

A sharp pain in Bluefrost's shoulders caused her to collapse to the ground. She always had muscle aches from the days before the shadow left her childhood. It became so severe she had to relinquish her dream of being a warrior to a retired mother.

"Mousepelt, my shoulders are acting up again," Bluefrost said softly as she slowly entered the medicine cat den.

The brown spotted medicine cat was sound asleep until woken up by a shriek. His head rose, startled he asked, "What's wrong?"

"Th-The shadow!" Bluefrost pointed at Deadpaw, she could not breathe. The curse she had birthed had returned to hurt her.

Mousepelt's eyes widened as he recalled Bluefrost's condition. He began to panic, he had never faced one of her episodes without Fawnheart. "D-Deadpaw leave the den!"

The gray apprentice's face fell into shock, "What?"

"Get out, get out!" Mousepelt demanded.

Deadpaw quickly departed to escape the loud cries from Bluefrost. She stood outside the den, shivering in the falling snow. She breathed into her freezing paws to prevent loss of feeling in her body. Her head poked into the medicine cat den and asked," Can I come back in? It's cold."

"Leave! Get out of my life!" Bluefrost was screaming to the walls of the den.

Deadpaw looked to Mousepelt and asked, "Why is there a shadow in the den?"

Mousepelt froze, he replayed her question in his head. He couldn't believe it. "You see a shadow?"

"Yes right there," Deadpaw pointed to Bluefrost at the back of the den, "It's making some fuzzy noises, its hurts my ears."

"You're joking..." Mousepelt stared bewildered at her.

The apprentice tilted her head in confusion. She had no knowledge of her mother's condition yet she had the very same one.

"Bluefrost, chew on the camomile flowers I gave you," Mousepelt said as he replicated Fawnheart's actions.

The mother ate the flower facing the wall to refuse looking at the shadow. It's going to go away, it's going to go away. After the calming herbs took effect, Mousepelt allowed Deadpaw to return into the den.

"Bluefrost, your daughter says she sees you as a shadow as well," The brown medicine cat said slowly.

The mother did not respond but the widening of her eyes showed she had heard.

"Bluefrost, I'm going to visit the moonpool and ask for answers, please remain here," Mousepelt said before turning away.

"StarClan won't help you, they're the ones who gave me this curse ever since I was a kit," Bluefrost muttered to herself.

The brown medicine cat hung a flat leaf on his back to hold in heat. He promised the gray apprentice he'd return the following day and not to leave the clan until then. Deadpaw obeyed without question, she would not risk frostbite to leave camp despite her desire to see Whitehail and Briarpaw again.

She curled up into a ball, far from the murmuring shadow and fell asleep.

—

A paw poked Deadpaw's belly and she sprung up in surprise.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you," Wolfpaw apologized.

A wave of relief calmed her, she was in the middle of a nightmare when her brother broke her slumber. The shadow from before was standing behind Wolfpaw, mumbling static to him.

"She wants me to tell you that I'll be translating her words to you," Wolfpaw told Deadpaw.

The shadow spoke to him once again.

"This is your mother, Deadpaw. She says she sees you as a dark shadow and can't hear the words you speak." He translated.

"Really?" Deadpaw's bright eyes opened in surprise. This figure in front of her was her real mother?

"Mom wants me to tell you she couldn't see her own mother when she was a kit. And her mother neglected her and she promises not to do the same to you."

The shadow mumbled four short noises to Wolfpaw and he pouted.

"And she said, 'You are my daughter'."

Bluefrost held her kit in an embrace, she convinced herself she could never be like her own mother. Shadow or not, Deadpaw was her kin. Bluefrost whispered, "I wish I could see you, I wish I could speak to you and hear you. But none of those obstacles will stop me from loving you."


	8. Chapter 8- Danger at the Moonpool

Chapter 8- Danger at the Moonpool

Mousepelt shook off the frost from his thick fur. The leaf that protected his bare back had blown off and left him shivering. Relief overcame him as he arrived to the moonpool. Mousepelt's chest tickled with anticipation, he could finally reunite with his late mentor, Fawnheart. It had been almost six moons since her clouded disappearance but today they would see each other once again.

When Mousepelt dipped his nose into the water, Fawnheart didn't come. He waited for his mentor, screamed her name in panic.

"Fawnheart won't be speaking with you," A white she-cat informed.

"Who are you?" He asked.

"I'm your mother."

Mousepelt's face contorted with hatred. "I don't want to see you, where is Fawnheart?"

"I've taught you manners, now use them," She ordered, "I didn't come here to bicker-"

"-I didn't come here to speak with you, where is Fawnheart?" He grew impatient and deeply worried, "I have to see her."

The she-cat's eyes narrowed with annoyance. "Now is not the time for a reunion, I have important news that will change the balance of all the clans."

His body tensed as she spoke. "W-What?"

"Cats of the Dark Forest are reincarnating. These dangerous warriors could be anyone in RiverClan," She spoke urgently.

Mousepelt's eyes perked in shock, he was no longer interrupting now. "How will we know who's not of the Dark Forest?" He asked.

"There is one who will know. Mousepelt, your closest ally could be one of them, you must be careful."

She disappeared into white smoke leaving Mousepelt anxiously twitching. "N-No, tell me more! Who are these cats?" His throat budged preparing to vomit. It made him nauseous knowing the safety of his clan relied on him. "Fawnheart! Please, Fawnheart!"

He screamed for help but no one was there. He returned to consciousness soon after. Three dark cats stood in front of the moonpool entrance, scrutinizing Mousepelt.

"Were too late, he must've gotten the message from StarClan," One of them said.

The brown medicine cat recognized them as RiverClan warriors.

"We can't let the clan know, Ryestar will surely banish us if he were to find out where we come from," A she-cat spoke nervously.

"You worry too much, the snow will get cover the blood," The tom informed.

All three cats lunged onto Mousepelt and soon he was reunited with Fawnheart.

* * *

The snow ceased at dusk, just after Mousepelt's search patrol returned. Ryestar impatiently ran to Blackstorm, who led the patrol. The RiverClan leader looked for any signs in Blackstorm's face but like always, he was stoic.

"Have you found Mousepelt?" Ryestar asked, examining the others in the patrol.

Two warriors stepped forward and gingerly placed Mousepelt on the ground. Mousepelt was unrecognizable, he was covered with heavy frost and his eyes were frozen open.

"He was hidden in the snow at the Moonpool, if he didn't have such dark fur we... we wouldn't have found him," One of the warriors explained.

Ryestar's shock soon turned into rage. "How? How did he die?"

Blackstorm rolled the corpse to the back to reveal teeth marks on the nape.

"ShadowClan, rotten ShadowClan cats! How low can one be to target a medicine cat?" Ryestar growled.

RiverClan cats slipped out of their dens to crowd around Mousepelt. Fear spread like fire among the clan cats, two medicine cats had died with no one to claim the role. The mist of war was the last time anyone would want to lose cats.

"Where is Deadpaw?" Ryestar raised his head in the crowd to call forth her.

Deadpaw timidly padded to the center, once again touched by unwanted attention.

"You have trained with Whitehail in ShadowClan about the ways of a medicine cat for six moons, correct?" Ryestar asked.

She gulped, fearing what he was about to suggest. "Yes."

"Deadpaw, we are in dire need of a medicine cat, it is time for you to be a hero," Ryestar said.

The crowd murmured around her. Some questioned her ability, some relieved of the role fulfillment, although most were scared of the war.

Deadpaw stood in the center of all the eyes, but most importantly Ryestar's proud eyes. For once the RiverClan leader looked to her not as an outsider but a true clan-mate.

"I'm still a beginner, but I'll be the medicine cat. But... under one condition."

She forced herself to keep her gaze to establish confidence. Never had she ever dared to bargain with the intimidating leader who she feared she would disappoint, but she must.

Deadpaw continued, "I'll only be the medicine cat if I get to see Whitehail."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ryestar spat, he refused the idea without thought.

"Whitehail can teach me more, I'm not trained enough," Deadpaw's voice began to quiver but raised it, determined, "Let me see him or else you'll never have a medicine cat."

Her muzzle rose to show dominance. The crowd gasped, the older cats offended with her entitlement while the youth was cheering her on.

"So be it," Ryestar almost snarled the words.

The young she-cat brightened with relief and happiness. Ryestar left irritated to plan for the war. The crowd assuaged leaving a few apprentices congratulating Deadpaw.

"No one ever talks like that to Ryestar, were you scared?" Lilypaw asked.

Lilypaw's sister interrupted, "Of course not, did you see how high she raised her head? Deadpaw does whatever she pleases!"

The two nudged Deadpaw and she blushed nervously. This was the first any apprentices besides Wolfpaw have ever conversed with her.

"I'm Rosepaw."

"I'm Lilypaw."

Deadpaw smiled. "I'm Deadpaw."

"We know! Everyone talks about you," Rosepaw informed.

"Do they? What does everyone say about me?" She worried of judgement, it made her heart anxious.

"Mother disapproves of you," Lilypaw said.

"Who cares about what the old ones say, the apprentices and I think you've got nerve!" Rosepaw said, "Ryestar has a leaf-bare heart, but you really taught him a lesson!"

The two sisters said their goodbyes and left Deadpaw to her empty den. Her heart pounded from the conversation with Rosepaw and Lilypaw. She desperately want to befriend them although she was no longer training as a regular apprentice. But then again, she was never a regular apprentice before today either, she had always been different. Just a moment ago she was respected for standing up to Ryestar when no one else had, perhaps being different was not so bad.

She smiled to herself, I really hope I can be their friend.

Deadpaw laid in the warmest spot of the medicine cat den. It was uncomfortably quiet and the lack of company kept her awake. The thought of Mousepelt's death finally settled in. She was never to see the brown medicine cat again. Her heart sank pondering over Mousepelt although he had never been fond of Deadpaw.

Now she was to be a medicine cat in his place but inside she was faking her confidence. Deadpaw didn't know nearly enough to heal all the injuries inflicted by war. What if she were to inadvertently kill a warrior in the middle of treating them?

A shiver creeped down her back, perhaps today was not a good day after all.

She hugged her body to push the anxious thoughts away and she begged for sleep.


	9. Chapter 9- Savior or traitor?

**Chapter 9- Fairytale prince or spy?**

The night sky alerted Deadpaw to depart for a lake meeting under the stars. Her fur was about to burst from excitement, tonight she would reunite with Whitehail.

Ryestar insisted Blackstorm accompany Deadpaw and said it was for safety, but both knew the order was to ensure she didn't betray RiverClan. After almost a moon, Ryestar still didn't trust her. Deadpaw feared Blackstorm would hurt her during the journey but as soon as they were out of Ryestar's sight, he bolted away. She had seen him leave once before like this, for some reason he was always in the direction to ShadowClan.

Deadpaw leaped onto a steep cliff, her short legs barely held her up. Above her was Whitehail, the pale tom who raised her for six moons against all odds. Her eyes grew misty as she ascended to his level, it had been far too long since their last encounter.

"Father, I've missed you," She cried to him.

Whitehail turned to her, his eyes were red and depressed. "Forgive me, Deadpaw."

A jaw yanked Deadpaw from the cliff. She shrieked for help as its fangs tangled over her flailing hind legs. A familiar scent triggered a memory of her as a kit, a red tom was looking down upon her, disgusted. Kill her.

Deadpaw jerked back to reality, she recognized her attacker immediately. It was Shadestar and he was holding her at the edge of the cliff. She was dangling from the leader's jaws by only a leg.

"Help!" She scream echoed into the lake but no one came.

"Shadestar be careful with her!" Whitehail warned with a hoarse voice.

"Move Whitehail, were wasting time!" Shadestar growled through his clamped teeth.

Together they ran through the meandering, thick trees. Shadestar repeatedly looked back for any RiverClan warriors following them. He expected a pursuit for the apprentice but found none. Ryestar that mouse-brain left this apprentice alone? The red leader slowed his pace as he entered ShadowClan territory. Whitehail followed several fox-leaps behind him, failing to keep up with the swift tom.

Several ShadowClan warriors crowded around them, eyeing the petrified, foreign cat in Shadestar's jaws.

"She's an exact copy of her mother, except for those blue and green eyes," One of them awed.

The ShadowClan deputy blocked the entrance of the camp with a grey plank from the twolegs. Escape looked bleak for Deadpaw.

"What did you do to her escort?" The deputy asked the leader.

"She had no one with her," Shadestar informed her.

"Actually I was her escort," A voice said.

Deadpaw froze as a sleek, dark tom withdrew himself from the crowd, it was her RiverClan father, Blackstorm.

"If you wanted to have her, you could've told me, Shadestar," Blackstorm said to him, "I could've easily swiped her with me."

The red leader grunted. "You're nothing but a pathetic spy."

"Father, don't speak to him like that!" The deputy demanded as she touched Blackstorm with her nose respectively, "He's kin now."

"He's only kin after he spills RiverClan blood," Shadestar snarled at Blackstorm. He turned to the medicine cat, "Get Deadpaw to the den and shut that entrance as well."

Whitehail nodded obediently and nipped Deadpaw gingerly off the soil. She watched Shadestar and the deputy bicker over the loyalty of Blackstorm as they slowly receded from sight. The medicine cat slipped into the once familiar medicine cat den and placed Deadpaw in his soft nest.

"W-What's going on father?" She asked with a quivering voice.

"I'm so sorry, Deadpaw," Whitehail held her in a warm embrace.

"Am I going to die?"

"No, no. Deadpaw we brought you back home to..." He hesitated on his word choices, "I want you to be my apprentice again, I've missed you dearly."

"Father..." Was all she could say without shaking.

"Get some rest," Whitehail turned to his side and called forth a RiverClan cat, "Youngling! Will you guard, Deadpaw until I return?"

An orange tom slipped under the twoleg barrier of the den and complied. A gentle smile appeared as he saw Deadpaw.

Whitehail informed he'd be back before the morning and left. Deadpaw scanned him as he maneuvered himself through the barrier to learn how to escape. The moment she was no longer under watch, she would sprint back to RiverClan, that is if she remembered the path home.

"Deadpaw!" Briarpaw greeted elated.

"H-Hello... um.." Her brain whirled trying to recall his name.

His smile turned flat in disappointment. "You don't remember me?"

She pointed her head high. "Of course I do, Boopaw!"

"Boopaw?" He exclaimed, "Don't tell me you think my name is Boopaw!"

"Is it not?" She blushed.

"Briarpaw!" He corrected, "How could you forget me? I couldn't forget you."

Deadpaw smiled, embarrassed. "Sorry it's been awhile."

He flicked his tail irritated. "I really wanted you to remember me..."

"I do! I remember when we first met! You said you'd save me if anything bad would happen," She recalled.

"I still would," He said.

They both smiled uniformly. It had almost been a month since they've met. Briarpaw had rescued her from the claws of an eagle and she had to heal herself on foreign land. If he wasn't there, would she have lived?

"Is that a bruise?" Deadpaw questioned the violet and yellow skin budging from his bright fur.

He covered it with his long-haired tail. "Nothing really, father just got too upset during training one day."

"He did that to you?" She exclaimed, "Does it hurt? I can treat it."

"Don't worry," He chuckled, "I was the one who promised to rescue you but you're the one helping me."

"Will you really save me if I'm in need of help?" Deadpaw asked.

"Of course!" He said with no second thought.

"Then help me escape."

He frowned with a questioning look. "I thought you'd be glad coming home. Last time we spoke you didn't have a drop of happiness."

"I didn't?" She asked.

"You smiled but I saw so much hurt in your eyes. Weren't the RiverClan cats rude to you?" He asked.

Deadpaw nodded, recalling her terrible first day in the clan. "It's different now, I've gotten use to the prey and I've made two friends! I have to go back."

"I can be your friend, my father doesn't let me play with the other apprentices. If you stay... you'll be my first friend..." He said.

"Briarpaw," She said, "I'm so sorry..."

"Stay with me."

"I can't."

"Why not?" He asked sadly.

"This isn't my home," She answered, "I was kidnapped by Shadestar."

"I know... I was the one who told him to kidnap you," Briarpaw said.


	10. Chapter 10- Deadly Runaways & Waterfalls

**Chapter 10- Deadly Runaways and Waterfalls**

Thunder pounded the earth as Deadpaw's wide eye laid open in her slumber. She demanded Briarpaw to leave her in the den, she couldn't believe his betrayal. He was her first friend yet he only used her like all the ShadowClan cats wanted to.

The mornings in ShadowClan were freezing, the cowering evergreens fought any sunlight daring to heat the camp. Deadpaw covered herself under a palm leaf waiting for Whitehail's return. He never came.

Briarpaw leaped over the twoleg barrier with a sparrow in his mouth. "Good morning, how was your sleep?"

Deadpaw didn't answer, the tom she once trusted with her life was no longer her friend. His bright orange fur was dim now in the cloudy day.

"I'm sorry, I thought you wanted to come back home," He said dropping his head.

"Kidnapping me was wrong," She said, not meeting his gaze.

He dropped the sparrow at her paws, nudging it forward. "If you really hate it here... then perhaps I could help you escape."

Deadpaw's eyes lit up with joy. "You would?"

He nodded. "I said I'd rescue you no matter what."

She got up on all fours with misty eyes. "Thank you so much!"

Briarpaw smiled but his eyes were still hollow. She was his last hope for a friend and she fought any attempt to stay. He gestured toward the fresh-kill and this time Deadpaw accepted it. The first bite spread warmth to her, this flesh was tougher than the fish skin she was forced to eat at RiverClan.

"What will Shadestar say?" She asked, licking the blood of the bones.

"Father will be especially mad due to Whitehail's condition," Briarpaw answered.

Her eyes darted up at the mention of Whitehail. "His condition? What condition?"

"I don't know the full story but," Briarpaw looked to his right, trying to recall a memory, "Whitehail had a dream of bright hail engulfed by a blue power, he believes it means he will die."

A strong heartbeat pounded in Deadpaw's ears. "No, oh StarClan please no. Not Whitehail, not him!" Her head spun at the thought of Whitehail captured in the flames of her dreams. Every hair on his white coat would incinerate until his pink skin shed blood.

"Father wanted you to replace Whitehail if he does fall ill," Briarpaw explained.

"Th-that's why I'm here?" Deadpaw murmured in shock.

"Father needed a medicine cat, I suggested you," He said.

The apprentice was meant to be a replacement once the tom who raised her dies. The very thought pulled on Deadpaw's heart. This convinced her there was no reason to stay, this clan was far more dangerous than any other. All the cats did here was manipulate and fight.

"Please let's leave, I can't take this anymore," She pleaded weakly.

Briarpaw scanned for any nearby wanderers.

"We have to hurry."

He inhaled deeply to slender his body down and slid through the crack under the twoleg barrier. Deadpaw followed his movements out of the medicine cat den and into the clearing.

Once all the cats retreated into their dens, the two sprinted to the entrance of the camp. Briarpaw gnawed at the plank and removed it, but he was too nervous, it dropped recklessly onto the icy ground. A loud thud echoed throughout the clearing, unmistakably caused by the entrance being forcefully opened.

A paw reached out of the shadows to preclude Briarpaw's departure. They looked up with quivering paws.

"F-Father," Briarpaw murmured with fearful eyes. The orange apprentice whipped his head to Deadpaw and cried, "Run!"

She darted onto the main path with all the energy in her body. Shadestar prepared to lung after her but was pulled back by Briarpaw. He shook the apprentice off with all his might.

"What do you think you're doing?" Shadestar snarled.

"Father, please let her go!" He begged desperately.

Shadestar swung at Briarpaw and he was propelled onto the cold ground. The last thing Deadpaw heard was the sound of Briarpaw's bones cracking.

Rain pounded on all the clans that day. Deadpaw ran blindly in fear and confusion. She had diverged off path and now she was trapped in the forest.

"Help!" She cried with all the breath in her lungs but the rain covered any attempt for sound.

Her wet fur anchored her body down along with her hope.

A giant splash scared Deadpaw off her paws. She recognized the sound from the RiverClan's waterfall, she ran as quickly as she could toward the rushing water.

"Is someone there?" Deadpaw called, "Please! Anyone!"

Three dark cats stood in front of the waterfall. Deadpaw jumped with relief, she was saved.

"Hey!" She attempted to catch their attention and assistance.

Deadpaw squinted at the three and realized she couldn't see two of them; they were shadows.

"M-Mother?" Deadpaw called.

A fire-red tom pushed a light cat into the waterfall and the waves gladly consumed it. Deadpaw's eyes widened with fear once she realized who the body belonged to.

"Whitehail!" She screamed.

The three finally noticed her presence over the heavy rain. The fire-red cat leaped over and sheltered her from the drips.

"You shouldn't be here."

Deadpaw's pushed his advance. "What have you done?" She asked, "Why Whitehail? Why him?"

"Ryestar demanded to get rid of Whitehail to avenge Mousepelt," He explained.

"No!" Deadpaw cried, "Whitehail was innocent, Whitehail was nothing like Mousepelt! He wasn't like any of you!"

A shadow touched Deadpaw in comfort and looked spoke to the red tom.

"Yes your daughter is upset over that ShadowClan rat," The fire-colored cat told the shadow.

Deadpaw shoved her mother's silhouette of a paw. "Why did you do this, mother? Why?"

"It's unhealthy to keep the secret from her, Bluefrost, the child has the right to know," The tom said to her mother.

The shadow nodded eventually and took Deadpaw, ignoring her attempts of fighting.

"Deadpaw, it's time you knew the truth about the shadows."


End file.
